Aaron vs. Old Things

You should know, while you can still avoid ever reading my blog, that I have a distate for old things. When I was younger, an old woman once hit me with her cane for sitting in "her seat" on an MTA bus. Never mind that the other five seats in the front were all empty, never mind that I was sleeping, never mind that I was ten. I have never really forgiven that older people seem to expect a double standard of respect that they never earn or return; it's also tended to wash overboard into my general disdain for all things classic (with the exception, perhaps of music). Not that I don't mind the occasional museum exhibition, but let's remember one crucial detail. These things are kept under lock and key in a museum, where they can't ever hit anybody with a cane. The one exception is my tolerance for the older crowd I encounter at the local Bridge Club, and I'm sure that's just because I'm taking deep satisfaction in beating life masters, hence making all the time they've spent aging behind a deck of freshly shuffled cards worthless. Also, I need to give myself some leeway sixty years from now when I'm arguing against euthanasia.

Anyway, my case in point will be this week's Bryant Park movie, Suspicion. Aside from being in a monotonous (and "suspicious") black-and-white and despite being directed by Alfred Hitchcock, this movie represents the worst of H-wood. Granted, this was filmed before his biggest hits, but the studio refused to let him make Cary Grant a murderer because they didn't think the public would believe him. I don't really need to draw parallels to today's society, so I'll put it simply. Hitchcock: age 41; murky executives: old. Ageism knows no bounds. Besides, those who do not understand the past are doomed to be forever frightened of it, and I will never understand an audience that finds a fat, middle-aged man making quacking sounds or the endearing use of the term "monkey face" appealing. (Perhaps this is why the word appalling is so similar.)

And now, a few staple items.

RANDOM METAPHOR (as extracted from IM):
Jessie: He was telling me that after they retire monkeys from the lab they're sending them to a retirement home off the coast of florida and they want to make it a tourist place.
Me: Yes, their bites are like Bertie's Every Flavor Beans. Each one transmits a unique and undefined virus.

RANDOM PLUG:
Jeanette is very funny; she needs to update her Blog more often. Here is where you help me coerce her into doing so by clicking mercilessly on her site, affectionately titled Bagles, Boobs and Beer.

boo-yeah to:
Kamel. I've only met you once, but you are awesome, man. I'm going to laminatate a plaque for you. I'm also told you could make a leper on prozac feel better, and I believe it.

CURRENT MUSIC VIDEO:
Feel Good Inc., by Gorillaz

MY LIFE (an update):
I have my first job interview here. It doesn't matter so much if I get it or not, so much as I feel vindicated in my resume and cover letter skills. Plus, I'm working as a film critic here. To tie things together, I am proud to tell you that none of the artists I saw were particularly old. Further vindication for youth: go us!